Justaskmeout's Top 5 Tips to Find Love in London
London can feel at times like a tricky place to find love what with everyone having a hectic schedule, always being in a rush and of course the whole Don't-acknowledge-or-god-forbid-speak-to-anyone-you-don't-know "rule"! But fear not! It can be done. It's simply a matter of where you look and how you go about it. To makes things nice and easy for you (as we like to do), we've put together our Top 5 Tips to help you find love in London. Some of them may seem obvious from the title but bear-with - the gems of knowledge are in the details. We hope you enjoy and find your Mr/Mrs Right. Good luck!
Tip No. 1: Go look for them!
Now this might seem the most ridiculously obvious thing to say and perhaps you think you're already doing this - but the secret here is all about where you are searching for them. Think of it as if you are the seeker in a game of Hide & Seek - think about your perfect match and then ask yourself where would they hide? What kind of places would you be likely find them in? Think about the traits or hobbies of the person you are looking for and then ask yourself what sort of places that kind of person would spend their time in. For instance, if you are looking for someone adventurous you might find them at a climbing centre. If you are looking for someone fun with a good sense of humour you might be more likely to find them at a comedy night. Someone a bit more intellectual might be found at a pub quiz or perhaps at Museum Lates. Creative types might be found at art classes or galleries. Or if you're looking for someone that shares your love of running/cycling/tennis - join a local club for that sport and make sure you go along to the socials or organise one if there aren't any organised!
The other key thing about this tip is that it's obviously not enough just to go to these places - when you go, you need to make sure you get to meet new people. And if you see someone you like the look of you need to say hello and ask them out! It's no good just turning up to the yoga class, doing your yoga and going straight home again. If you're looking for a fellow yoga bunny you need to try to get there a bit early and see if you can actually get to know some new people before, during or after the class. Even if you get to know people you're not interested in, you never know who they might know and introduce you to at some point. And at the very least you get to make new friends to enjoy your interests with!
So to sum up:
1. List out the traits and interests you'd like your ideal match to have
2. Think up ideas for the kind of places a person like that would hang out
3. Start going along to some of those kind of places regularly and make a concerted effort to get to know new people there
4. When you see someone you fancy - ask them out!
Tip No. 2: Decide what really matters
Decide the 3 things that are REALLY important to you, and try to be as open-minded as possible about the rest. For example, if you really want someone with a great sense of humour who will make you laugh and be a great laugh - fair enough. Keep that on the list. But do the really HAVE to be aged between 30-32? We generally find age to be fairly unimportant in the grand scheme of things as long as you are looking for the same things from a relationship. And do they absolutely have to have blue eyes?
And while we're on the subject of looks...you got to be realistic. If you're no Brad Pitt then don't go looking for an Angelina Jolie or vice versa. Looks aren't everything anyway. And this principle also applies to the other things too. If you want someone really fun who fills their life to the brim with exciting things - then you'd better make sure that you and your life are just as exciting if you want a chance of attracting a go-getter like that.
Try to make your 3 things as much as possible about values rather than superficial things. Sharing the same values is a far better indicator of whether you'll have a great long-term relationship than whether she has the right hair colour or you happen to both like the same band. Things like trust-worthiness, how they treat people, how they spend money, what they want out of life, how ambitious they are - it's those kind of things that are the important things. Not where the live, what films they like or what colour their eyes are.
So to sum up:
1. Pick your 3 most important criteria
2. Be realistic
3. Focus on values not superficial stuff
Tip No. 3: Meet someone new every day
As the saying goes, it is unfortunately a numbers game. You need to kiss a lot of frogs…well - you don’t need to kiss them all, but you do need to at least meet a lot of frogs before you find your Prince/Princess. And practice makes perfect. Use everyday opportunities to meet new people.
Yes every day. Set yourself a goal to try to get to meet a new person each day. And by ‘meet’ we don’t mean just the basic exchange of names, we mean actually getting to know something about that new person - where they’re from, what they’re into, what they’re doing with their life. Ask them if they’re single! Go on, we dare you!
Because if you meet a new person every single day - one day not too far away you will meet someone you rather like. And guess what we recommend next? Ask them out! Don’t let that once in a lifetime opportunity pass you by.
If you’re a little shy or worried about rejection, as a member of Justaskmeout.com you can use one of our Justaskmeout dating cards to make it a little easier. You just write your Justaskmeout username onto the card and hand it over just before you say goodbye. Nice and easy, no fear of rejection, no excuse not to do it. Make sure you always have a couple on you for emergencies!
If you’re not sure how/where to meet new people - our suggestions would be:
* Justaskmeout.com where there are lots of lovely singles on there who would love to meet you
* Go along to a Meetup for something you’re interested in - see Meetup.com
* Take up a new hobby and make friends with your classmates
* Ask your friends to introduce you to people they know
Finally - when you’re out there meeting all these new people, whether it be in everyday life or on dates, do make the most of the opportunity. Even if you’re not interested in them in that way personally, you never know if they might have a friend you’d be interested in, or could be right for a friend of yours. What goes around comes around. Be friendly and helpful to those that you meet and they will be more likely to do the same for you.
So to sum up:
1. Aim to meet 1 new person every day
2. When you meet someone you like be brave and ask them out
3. Carry your Justaskmeout cards with you and use them if you prefer
4. Make the most of every new connection
Tip No. 4: Phone-a-friend
Just as in the gameshow "Who wants to be a millionaire" - phoning a friend can be a real life line when it comes to finding your Mr/Mrs Right. Mates can help you out in a number of different ways actually.
Firstly, and you've probably thought of this one, they can act as your own personal match-maker. Potentially due to the rise of online dating sites there seems to have been a corresponding decline in friends playing their part to introduce friends-of-friends to each other. It might just be because they no longer think their friends want or need this. But do not underestimate the benefits of this centuries-old method of friends and family acting as matchmakers. Just ask them to have a think of any eligible singles they know, and to have a scroll through their Facebook acquaintances too and no doubt they will be more than happy to oblige. And when they come back with some suggestions - guess what the final essential ingredient is? Yep, you got it - just ask them out!
The second way your mates can help you out is in reviewing your profile on Justskmeout.com. They can give an honest opinion on your photos and whether they portray you in the best possible light (without giving an unrealistic impression of how you actually look day-to-day). Ask them what they think is your 'Unique Selling Point' - what things do they really value in you as a friend and which traits do they think you should highlight in your profile. They can even write parts of it for you if you like that idea.
There is one final way that your friends can help you find your Mr/Mrs Right although this one is best to hold off on until you've been single for several months or more. At this point it can be a good time to sit down and have a really good think about what's holding you back and what you could tweak to improve your chances. Is there anything that's not working in your favour, or that might be putting people off that you could change? Are you sub-consciously self-sabotaging your dating success? You can do this thinking by yourself or to get the greatest benefit we recommend involving your closest friends. They generally know us really well, and in some cases, better even than we know ourselves. They also have the benefit of an external viewpoint. And as a result of this knowledge and viewpoint, they could have some good suggestions that we may not have thought of for things we could do to help us in the dating space. Of course, some things might be difficult to hear and they may feel uncomfortable saying them so it's very important that you ask them at the outset to be as honest as possible but to only mention aspects that you can actually change. And when they are brave enough to give you some suggestions - thank your friends for their honesty, write them down, and then if you can, talk them through with your friend to really understand what they're saying and to come up with ideas for how you could address them. And we suggest you ask a couple of different friends, some single and some not, as they will no doubt have slightly different perspectives.
This is what true friends are for - to give us a helping hand every now and again to steer us in the right direction. They want to see us happy and giving them a chance to help you in our love life will be just as fun for them as it will be for you!
So to sum up:
1. Ask friends to be your personal match-makers
2. Get your friends input to your Justaskmeout profile
3. Have a heart-to-heart to hear their views on what you need to do differently
Tip No. 5: Have fun while you're at it
And so to our final tip to find your special guy/gal - have fun while you're at it. Not at it like that. Mind. Gutter. Out! ;-) What we mean is - you will be so much more attractive to other people if you are genuinely having fun and enjoying your life.
Yes, we know that you're reading this because you want to add a special relationship into your life, you may even feel incomplete without it. But think of it from the point of view of the person you're hoping to find - they are looking for someone awesome who they're going to have lots of fun with. And what better way to attract them than to be the person who's having loads of fun already. They'll see that and what to be a part of it. On the other hand, if you're the misery guts feeling sorry for yourself in the corner - who would find that attractive? Who would want to join in with that?
And yes, we know it can be hard to keep it up, to put on a brave, smiley face but we promise you it's worth the effort. Not only will you be more likely to attract someone, but you're also a lot more likely to actually have fun! The very act of turning your mouth up at the corners into a smile has been proven to make us more likely to feel happy and more positive about things.
The power of positive thinking is fairly well established in many facets of life and your love life is no exception. Try to always imagine and think the best about every situation, every opportunity. You can even think positive thoughts and imagine what it will be like when you actually find The One. Whenever you're feeling a bit down, try imaging how amazing it will feel when you find them.
But do you want to know the easiest way to look like you're having a great time? It's if you're actually having a great time! Not many of us could pass as professional actors so the easiest solution is to fill your time to the brim doing all the things you love doing - whether it be your favourite hobby, seeing your favourite people, eating you're favourite food, whatever it is - indulge yourself in spending a good proportion of your time doing that.
Obviously some of those things will be more conducive to meeting new people than others. So for each of your favourite things - try to think how you could alter your habits every so slightly to increase your chances of meeting new people while you're at it. For example - if you love catching up with your friends - ask them if you can all try out a new bar each week? If you love a certain hobby - try going along to a different club occasionally rather than always going to the same one. If you like reading - join a reading club.
If you like cooking - why not try a cooking course or finding a group on Meetup.com that's also into cooking. Whatever you love doing - there is most certainly a way of tweaking things ever so slightly so that you increase your chances of having an awesome time right in front of your Mr/ Mrs Right.
So to sum up this 5th and final tip:
1. Smile - it not only makes you look more attractive but will also make you actually have more fun!
2. Think positive - it's more powerful that you might think
3. Fill your time with the things you love - but if necessary tweak them slightly to increase your chances of meeting new people while you're at it
And we're sure we don't need to remind you what we suggest you do when you spot a cute guy/gal when you're out there having an awesome time? No, we didn't think so. You know the score by now. Just Ask Them Out. You got it. So what are you waiting for? Go get them!